work, work, work, work, don't breathe, just work. i'm not even working though. not good.
i'm digging this hole deeper and deeper and and falling so behind, but apparently i don't care that much.
this whole job limbo plus school thing isn't working out. only a week and a bit though, then i'll be good in that aspect.
i wish this whole blog thing was just a diary that i didn't care about anybody reading, then i could complain about how immature, jealous, impatient, lazy, and tired i am. i just thank god for the people that can deal with me when i can't even deal with myself. i'm focusing too much on myself and not enough on others who need me. and i need them, i'm just pretending i don't. i need to make the time, but here i sit, writing this instead of my sociology content analysis or reading hard times or writing the alternate ending or learning about the french revolution, the enlightenment and napoleon. and i work tonight, like i did last night and monday, and will be doing saturday. i love a good payday, but hopefully it won't come at the cost of my marks, health and sanity.
OKAY, let's do it.
(ps, love don't live here anymore - city and colour)
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I think I know a little bit how you feel. Just take time out of your day to zoom out and unravel and really look at what life is. Why do you think you're assigned all these assignments, all these shifts at work? It's to see how well you can handle stress, and to see how well you learn. That's what both secondary and post-secondary is. I got a 62 on an english essay, but writing about sonnets may not get me anywhere in the future. 62's just a number, and it doesn't make me any less intelligent, I just didn't give the professor exactly what they were looking for. That's what we're being graded on; how well we can retain, and spit out information, rather, how well we can learn and understand and apply concepts, theories, maps, graphs, statistics. It's not about what you learn, but how you learn. And apart of the learning process is finding a balance between work and play. So ask yourself why you were assigned the next assignment that you're assigned. It's just school. It's not life. No worries!
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